Archive for victoria

the lost food group

Posted in daily, journal, writing with tags , , , on March 25, 2008 by bex0r

This past long weekend I journeyed to Vancouver Island to visit my family for Easter.  I’m beginning to see what my life might be like when I move back in less than a week. I felt like a balloon being slowly deflated. So maybe I made the wrong decision. Maybe I am running away. I gave myself a year to live and work over here after school and I guess things didnt really end up how I’d hoped. I wouldnt say I’ve failed, but I definitely havent lived up to my expectations. And I guess that is why I’m leaving.  I have so many things left to do in my life and I want to make an impact. The best way I can see to change the world is to continue my education, get the credentials so people will take me seriously (because no one takes me seriously enough,) and bring down the system from the inside. I guess the anarchist in me in kicking and screaming at the thought of being locked into yet another institution for 4+ years. I dont like rules. I like setting my own alarm. I don’t follow the crowd. I leave them shocked and confused as I wonder off solo in search of greener pastures.   In a way I can see my mind has gotten lazy, my self-discipline has gone soft and I’m looking forward to a little corporeal punishment.  I like whipping myself into a frenzy over exams, pulling all-nighters and discussing idiotic professors over coffee with my classmates. Life as a Student is one that I know well, and frankly- i like it. Maybe it’s perverse, but atleast it’s safe. I dont have to worry about paying rent on some stack of decaying bricks I dont even like, I can surround myself with wonderfully intelligent and often annoyingly contrary friends, just like me! I’m hoping I won’t feel like such a freak if I’m a freak with a law degree?